Frustration & Perseverance | A brief thought on endurance

Friday, July 11, 2014

“Frustrated” is a word I’ve used to describe my mood a lot, recently.

And just acknowledging that one fact alone is frustrating to me because I’ve always resented the thought of becoming the person who’s discouraged, pessimistic, discontented, fill-in-the-blank, etc. etc., frustrated.

But even still, sometimes we are what we are. And I am frustrated.

It has been 7 weeks of exhausting, back-breaking, humbling work, and as if the stress of my present day-to-day duties isn’t enough, I’m constantly reminded that election season hasn’t even really started yet.

I miss my family and my friends. I miss the freedom that allowed me nights out in downtown Iowa City and weekend escapes to home cooked meals and clean laundry at my parents’ house in Joliet.

But week in and week out, I try as best I can to work diligently and efficiently, using my time as productively as possible and exerting every last ounce of energy I can muster day-to-day.
I allow myself the relief—however brief—of daily mass, where I am reminded that my journey is not without purpose and my direction, not unguided.

“He knows what He is about. He may take away my friends, He may throw me among strangers, He may make me feel desolate, make my spirits sink, hide my future from me – still, He knows what He is about. Therefore, I will trust Him.” - Blessed John Henry Newman

And in the moments I’m tempted to throw in the towel and call it quits despite the million things I could do with my last few hours of daylight, I find strength in my faith in God’s providence and His plan.

“Work as if everything depended on you. Pray as if everything depended on God.” - St. Augustine

I cannot see what the future holds, nor can I even begin to fathom its weight. I do know, though, that my head and heart are growing. My life is changing and my views of myself, my relationships, my career—my whole world—are evolving.

Romans 12:12 says, “Be rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer.”
So I try.

I am joyful at this opportunity to be in Florida and all that it could mean for my future and my career. I refuse to be kept down by setbacks, disappointments, or failures—
“Nothing great is ever achieved without much enduring.” - St. Catherine of Siena

And above all else, I pray. I pray unceasingly for guidance, discipline, courage, strength, and truth.

And I pray constantly that my stubborn human heart succumbs to the molding hands of God.

“Grant me, O Lord my God, a mind to know You, a heart to seek You, wisdom to find You, conduct pleasing to You, faithful perseverance in waiting for You, and a hope of finally embracing You.” - St. John of the Cross

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