The Quiet Confidence Of Ivanka Trump

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

I'm continuously impressed with Ivanka Trump and how well she carries herself, even when met with the most humiliating and hostile sentiments of those around her.

This photo was taken today at a women's summit in Germany, where she was booed and "hissed" at (do women seriously hiss at other women? that's grotesque) for referring to her father as a "champion of supporting families and enabling them to thrive."

The moderator of the panel acknowledged the hostility of the crowd and confronted Ivanka, saying, "You hear the reaction from the audience. I need to address one more point—some attitudes toward women your father has displayed might leave one questioning whether he's such an empower-er for women."

And once more, we witness her incredibly poised demeanor in the well-spoken and gracious response she gave (per POLITICO):
“As a daughter, I can speak on a very personal level,” Ivanka Trump said. “I grew up in a house where there was no barrier to what I could accomplish beyond my own perseverance and tenacity. That’s not an easy thing to do; he provided that for us.” She said that her father treated her exactly the same way he treated her two brothers, who now run the family business. “There was no difference,” she said.
Her tone was not defensive, nor did she so much as grimace at the question she received. There's a level of self-awareness and restraint here that we fail to give her credit for.

It's very easy for us, as both consumers of the mainstream media and American voters, to forget that these people are just that—they're people.

When we think of Donald Trump and his relationship with women at this point in history, our minds jump immediately to the recording released prior to the election of his conversation with Billy Bush. The things that were said were shameful, wrong, and have no place in American society, let alone American politics. It is appropriate to acknowledge that and to hold him accountable for what he said.

Nevertheless, as a daughter myself, I observe Ivanka's willingness to stand by her father with admiration. She has not defended his behavior, which would be wrong—rather, she's chosen to remain loyal despite his character, however deeply flawed it might prove to be.

I fight the urge to compare her to Chelsea Clinton as a public figure because I think my bias in comparing them would be obvious. Nevertheless, it's worth noting that the media approaches the two women from very different angles. While some outlets continue to, for all intents and purposes, plead Chelsea Clinton into a campaign announcement, Ivanka's media coverage from those same outlets is critical, negative, and maintains, however subtlety, that she should be personally held responsible for her father's splintered relationship with the female gender because she, herself, is female.

This is a difficult position to place a man's daughter in. I struggle to recall a time that Chelsea Clinton has ever been asked to defend her own father's promiscuity, and the one time I can recall was met with such aggressive criticism by the mainstream media that no one ever dared ask such a question again. And while she is placed on a pedestal, Ivanka is "hissed" at by her fellow woman, even as she speaks of promoting women and families at a public forum.

I was especially impressed with Ivanka in her interview with Gayle King earlier this month. King asked Ivanka if she had a response to critics who accused her of being "complicit." Her response was commendable (via CBS):
"I would say not to conflate lack of public denouncement with silence. I think there are multiple ways to have your voice heard. In some case it’s through protest and it’s through going on the nightly news and talking about or denouncing every issue in which you disagree with. Other times it is quietly, and directly, and candidly. So where I disagree with my father, he knows it, and I express myself with total candor. Where I agree, I fully lean in and support the agenda and, and hope, uh, that I can be an asset to him and make a positive impact. But I respect the fact that he always listens. It’s how he was in business. It’s how he is as president."
And in this one statement alone, we witness the quiet confidence of Ivanka Trump. She feels no need to justify herself to the public, and there's something to be said for that level of self-assurance. It is clear she does not receive validation from the American people, which is important: it means her commitment to her values is not contingent on the approval of others. This is remarkable.

I fear that women are missing out on an incredible role model by so quickly jumping to criticize Ivanka. Many could say—and probably do say—that her loyalty to the President is self-serving, or necessary for her own professional success. I see it differently.

Ivanka has earned what she's built. While I recognize the opportunities that inevitably come hand-in-hand with having the name 'Trump' on your birth certificate, she's not been given all that she has. She is educated, professional, and successful by her own right. And yet, she has chosen to leave her empire behind (in some sense) to serve her father and the public in the White House.

How many celebrities are estranged from their famous family members? How many women wrestle with their self-worth (or lack thereof)? And how many experience behavioral crises at the hand of their damaging fathers?

It is clear Ivanka Trump is not one of those women. So why are we so quick to condemn her?

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